Social Networking - i'm doing it wrong?

In this day and age, everyone thrives on social media and the networking aspect of it. Sites like the destroyed MySpace, the ever popular Facebook, Twitter, etc people can become closer to friends that they know in life. Friends that they haven't evem met yet. Strangers. Even celebrities and news sources. Twitter seems the best place for that right now, but other social media empires remain a constant in nearly everyone's life.

I look back on my own social networking journey and remember there was a time it was not as important to me. With smartphones plus their ability to have apps constantly linking us to these places 24/7, I have become slightly attached go always being "in the know". The thought of not having, say, a Facebook account actually frightens me despite my desire to delete my account from there atleast for a little while.


I do feel like I'm doing this wrong. I do feel like I should not be as attached as I am. It is probably because I am nearly unemployed with nothing to do a majority of the time. When I'm busy and keep moving then I'm not as dependent on my cell phone and staying connected. It's one of the reasons I throw myself into this daily hunt for a job. My current "job" allows me to be on my cell phone, but I would really like a job where I would not be allowed my phone and could get away from social networking for the day.

I have over 17,000 tweets on Twitter. This actually seems surprisingly low to me because I tweet way too often for my tastes. I hope (and constantly think that I am) not getting on my 508 followers nerves. I try not to care about follower numbers, but I secretly (not so secret anymore, huh) want to have over 1000.

With tumblr I feel the most open. I only have a handful of followers and I don't have a cohesive theme to my "blog". I enjoy the pictures that pop up on my dashboard. But, even there, I just don't feel I can be entirely open. Like I'm being watched.

With Google+ I am happy. Somewhat. The site is gorgeous and minimal - just hoe I like it. The downside, however, is not many people are in my circles right now. Which probably sounds like what I want from a social network like G+ (and all that came before it) but I really need more updates from those that I have allowed in my Circles.

Facebook is the worse. Facebook makes me depressed. Jealous. It gives me a sense of inferiority. It's becoming how MySpace was for me. I'm constantly watching how many "likes" a person get and who comments of their stuff. I get upset when mutual friends comment incessantly on someone's stuff, but never on my own. I have gone through periods of "baiting" for comments or likes from either specific people or my entire friends list. I have deleted all my information, swearing off the site, only to put it back up there. Facebook has made me dislike several people that i used to consider as friends. It upsets me that my boyfriend won't even tag me in a relationship, even though that is such a meaningless social network invention that does not by any means make a relationship any more real then it is with or without it.

That long winded paragraph about Facebook is the reason I am doing this wrong. I shouldn't spend this much time of these networking places unless they will get me a job. I should not allow these places to control my emotions, especially not as vehemently as Facebook has.

But I can't and probably won't stop.
Because I must know what everyone is doing when they update because I am doing nothing. And if I am doing nothing I certainly want to read about people that are doing something. It's like tabloids of average, normal people.

Unbelievable

My last paycheck was absolutely disappointing. Although I knew it was coming thanks to my week in California, I was still a bit annoyed that my parents give me more money then I make at work. Unable to afford a video game (Alice:Madness Returns), my father actually brought it for me. I love when he actually goes shopping with us, but I also thought that was a very generous gesture to do - especially with it being Father's Day weekend.

I want to make my own money.
I want to afford all my own things.
And i know I'm not really an "adult" until i can do these things (so says my boyfriend).

It's not that I do not want to work. It's just that finding employment around here is hard, but relocating is hard as well when you an not find a job to relocate to.

Hopefully this all changes soon. Four hours a week is not cutting it. Curse my expensive hobbies.

California knows how to Party

Recently I was lucky enough to attend the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles, California with Ubisoft, the Frag Dolls, and my fellow Cadettes.

It was the most incredible adventure.

While I have stewing away in the pot of boredom that is South Carolina, my week in LA gave me a glimpse of what my life could be life if I could successfully turn my dreams into a reality. Having met so many people that have managed to do this and inspired me, I am only more determined to get away from this small town and attempt greater things.

E3 was an amazing event, a beacon of light. Albeit a trade show and not a convention like I'm used to, E3 blew all other events I attend away in a fierce gust. Animazement, the last anime convention I attended about a week before I left for E3, was a sad, sad disappointment. It was the epitome of what is wrong with anime conventions.

Going to E3 after a fail convention restored my hope in the fact that Ivcan have fun at events. The two can not be compared, but it is going to take quite a bit for me to have fun at a convention after attending such an incredible event.

And it isn't just the event that made the entire trip successful. It was the people that I surrounded myself with. By Thursday night - a little late in my trip if you ask me - I had transformed myself from the quiet, observant person I am to enjoying the company of the Frag Dolls, Cadettes, and the associates. I met so many incredible people throughout the week and things can only go up from here as I attend more gaming related events and meet even more people - in the industry and out (regular gamers).

To Esky - Thanks for being such a wonderful roommate! I cant believe we're worlds away on different coasts. Till next time, then!

To Jon - It was wonderful working Trackmania 2 with you (and kicking you off when someone wanted to play)! Hopefully we can hang out more if we ever get to events again together

To Cadettes - you're all so wonderful...gah, i miss you ALL. Please lets all get together again soon.

To Frag Dolls - YOU LADIES ARE AMAZING.

I wish I was able to go to PAX Prime, but I will be at MLG Raleigh to hopefully network and meet more gamers. I will be at PAX East even if it kills me.


So what exactly went down at E3?
I mostly worked at the Ubisoft booth demoing games such as Trackmania 2, Driver San Francisco, and Rocksmith. During my breaks, I ran around the show floor like a lioness on the prowl, hunting down all the games that i could play in short spurts. I got to play games such as: Dead Island, Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword, Street Fighter vs. Tekken, Inversion, and many more.

Nights at these events are where its at though. After everyone unwinds from the hectic days, many parties happen at night. On tuesday night was the Frag Dolls party at the LA Exchange. This was such an epic party and i had fun dancing the night away with many Cadettes and PMS Clan members. Wednesday night I went to sleep early, but Thursday night was a glorious adventure as I went to a bar called the Golden Gopher for the Game Devs meetup (went there TWICE), the World of Tanks penthouse afterparty, and Club Suede.

E3, however, is first and foremost a trade show event. Therefore it is not exactly like a standard, "open-to-the-public" convention. I likened it to an amusement park. People are there to work mostly and those that are attending are park attendees. They must wait in lines for hours for a few minutes of fun by playing the games. The booth babes are like costumed characters at amusement parks.

This is certainly an event I'd like to attend again.

Restaurant "window shopping"

I hope I'm not the other person that spends countless amounts of time browsing the menu of restaurants online. Even without pictures of the food, I'll just read and reread the descriptions of the food from restaurants I have never been to. Mouth watering. Tummy growling. Clearly, I have some sort of problem with mentally picturing myself at these places with a male having an intellectual and/or romantic and/or funny conversation over out plates of (potentially expensive) food.

A girl can dream. About guys. And food. And eating dinner with guys.

Whenever I do get a significant other, it will be my one true mission to visit the five restaurants I am about to list. At least once. I've pretty much read reviews of them all, but know that I need to go taste these foods before I the zombie apocalypse happens or I die. Whichever happens first.

Five Restaurants I Want to go on a Date At
or: I-Look-At-These-Menus-Constantly

P.F. Chang's China Bistro
I typically do not eat Asian food (I KNOW very weird considering I love anime) and the closest P.F. Chang's is about an hour from me...but I am incredibly drawn to the menu at this place. The MONGOLIAN BEEF seems to DIE for...just from the description! Or maybe the CHENGDU SPICED LAMB. Then there's the option to enjoy a four course meal for two. It's $39.95 and comes with DESSERT. nom nom nom!



Cheesecake Factory
Despite me thinking this was some bakery for cheesecake before actually visiting the website, I continue to return to the website to read over the menu whenever I get the opportunity to do so. Closest one is two hours from me, but i'm wiling to make the drive to taste this food. The website is pretty incredible as well. Its as if you're entering the website and being greeted by the hostess. The food sounds delicious but the site has a list (with pictures!) of their cheesecakes! I have never eaten cheesecake, but I would if I went to the Cheesecake Factory.


Mez
I spend a lot of time on the Charlotte (NC) EpiCenter website. I have never been there and always wanted to spend the day (and maybe night at the hotel) there. Mez kind of seems a little TOO upscale for me as I'm pretty laid back. But I love any opportunity to get dolled up. The website is pretty spiffy too so I'm not sure i'm attracted to the food as much as I am the atmosphere of the place.

Victoria and Albert's
The most expensive restaurant on this short list, V&A's is at Disney's Grand Floridian resort - my favorite Disney resort. Before I die I MUST attend such a fancy restaurant. Dropping over $300 on dinner seems like a crazy idea to me since I barely make that in a month, but whenever I start balling then I probably would not blink my eye to do so.

umm. wait. I'm a curvy girl...This is probably not enough food for me...


Melting Pot
I have heard so many bad things about this place through reviews and whatnot as I go through my weekly rounds of restaurant websites. For me, it probably is more about having the experience at least once. I think it would be an interesting place to eat dinner - albeit a tad expensive.



I'm not always about the expensive dinners though. As I'm very laid back, sometimes I just want a picnic in the park. Or to grab some ice cream (Coldstone Creamery, anyone? I've never been!) Or even just grabbing fast food and going back home to relax.

umm, boyfriendo please

I kind of want a boyfriend.
There. Admiting it is the first step.

While being single is...awesome (cough) I really miss having someone to talk to and hang out with. Now I practically have to beg someone to hang out with me. It's difficult to get my best friend to hang out because she is in college away from here and also has a boyfriend. I'm the only single person out of all my friends to be honest.

I'm not rushing into a new relationship though. Certainlynot going to settle for some of the offers I've been getting. Perhaps someone will come along, hopefully sooner then later.

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musings

My graduating class had a get together today. I missed it due to a prior commitment and it just seems to be bad timing. March is ridiculously busy with many events and such that. I can barely keep up.

Anyway, I looked through some photos of the get together and it seemed really cute.

I graduated from high school in 2005. My high school was pretty small and I think our graduating class was around 80 or so. I was in the Top 20...I wouldn't say I was super close with my classmates, but I was cordial to mostly everyone. I was just always so different and my mind was always on something other then my small town.

Even to this day I think that he direction of my classmates versus myself is just entirely different. Most of them seem more focused on having children and potentially getting married. I'd live to have that too, but I want to travel. I want to do geeky things that noone around here even understands. I want to party just like they do, but not st the tacky little clubs around here.

I'm just so different. And that has left me alone and friendless in my small town.

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If I were a Lesbian...

I would send my girlfriend a really beautiful arrangement ok Valentine's Day and take her out to a glorious dinner :)

Or just cuddle on the couch and watch movies in the dimmed light.

Or take a nice walk in the park.

Or go spend the day and night at a great bed and breakfast.

Yeah, if I were a lesbian I'd totally treat my girlfriend like that 365 days.

Happy Valentines Day!

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