I always loved this holiday and loved that I normally had someone to show me affection on this day. Last year, I thought I was going to be single on this day as well. But on February 11 my ex and I started to date.
I am a bitter person normally when it comes to relationships - especially when I'm stuck in an endless cycle of long periods of being immensely lonely in my single-dom. I was not ALWAYS this way.
When I was younger I always planned a wedding with every boyfriend I had. My friends and I would choose our colors and bridesmaids. It was all in good fun. Nothing serious.
When I was engaged I felt like all my dreams and hopes of when I was a child were going to come true. My wedding was being planned and the date was set. The theme was Christmas and the colors were red and gold.
....when that relationship ended, I dealed with a lot of guys. Never really got serious with any of them and only one could have been something more if distance wasn't a factor.
January 2010 I met my last boyfriend. I was incredibly happy to have someone I enjoyed being in a relationship with. It was fun and he was (is) my best friend.
So, I wonder why I am having a hard time finding a guy to date and be with nowadays. The truth is I really want a guy to try hard to be my friend first and then see if we can get into a relationship. The many guys that I talk to now seem to only want to rush into a relationship with me - want me to fall head over heels for them. That's not going to happen. That would only happen for the guy I already have a crush on (who just recently changed his Facebook status to "in a relationship" and I'm so pissed/jealous). And maybe if I had a crush on a guy it would be easy to jump in something with them.
But not with a guy I don't feel that way about. They have to try to befriend me instead of always declaring their love.
To be honest, I liked my last boyfriend when I first saw him. So maybe it isn't fair for me to say these other guys have to try harder then he did. But he did become my friend first. We were friends an entire month before dating and became even better friends afterward. We became such good friends that we are STILL friends now, which is something I have never done before (stay friends with an ex).
Maybe a guy will come along that I am attracted too that also is attracted to me. And perhaps we'll become friends and then become a couple. But I don't know when that will happen and I'm fine waiting on him to come.
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